Have you watched reality TV lately? Anything with "housewives" in the title is doing a terrible disservice to the women of America. Our sons and daughters are being taught that there is no real friendship between women, that we can't have strong relationships and that we don't help each other unless there's a benefit for us.

This is far from the truth of the real world of women at work and in life. Do you want to help change this? Do you want to counteract the influence of TV on your daughters? If you can't find a local business women's networking group, start your own.

Start by deciding whom you are going to target. Is it only for women who work? Is it going to include any women who want to participate? Will you have topics of interest only to women or will you have broader issues that men might be interested in. I don't recommend making it "women only." We complained too long about "men only" groups to turn around and do the same thing. My experience with women's groups is that there are a few men willing to sit and listen to speakers on menopause and breast cancer, but you can strongly influence who participates by adjusting your topics.

Know your purpose. Is this a business development organization? Is it for networking and giving referrals? Or is it going to take a wider view of helping women by including personal as well as professional development? You can help other women not only by providing the information, but by giving them a place where they can be influenced by positive women in the community. If I was to start a women's business organization, that would be my number one purpose: to give women a place and time to be influenced by and to become a role model and friend to others.

Finally, choose a format. Will it be lunch meetings? Breakfasts can be tough if Mom is in charge of getting everyone up and out the door. Evenings may be difficult for women with younger families. Check with the people you think would be interested to see what can work for them.

Take time to search out like-minded women in your community and let them know that you want to join forces with them to create a positive place. We need to counteract the rot that comes out of the television to provide great opportunities for women to grow personally and professionally.

On a recent trip to India I picked up the Sunday edition of the Hindustan Times, one of the country's daily English language newspapers. After perusing the local and world news, I decided to get a taste of Indian culture by flipping to the personals and classifieds section. What I got was a crash course in the power of language as a cultural signifier.

Many of the ads seeking brides were very much reflective of the traditional masculine mindset in the country - they sought information on caste and horoscope, and specifically requested virgins with "fair skin." They were direct and to the point, making clear the attributes that needed to be 'checked off' when picking a woman. The masculine energy of these bachelors shone through in their choice of words.

However, other ads reflected a much different mindset. These would-be suitors had very different values than their more traditional counterparts, expressing a desire for educated women who could become their "soul mate." While it was encouraging to see how the romantic paradigm was shifting, it was also interesting to note the feminine energy inherent in their language. Many of these more sensitive bachelors were vague and deferential almost to a fault, with some of the ads requesting a "beautiful, homely girl" for a bride. Where the more traditional men were too forceful in demanding certain features in prospective brides, many of these modern males were too demure to voice their opinions. They had swung too far in the other direction.

It's a phenomenon I found interesting, not only for its cultural significance, but also because I'd seen it before - in the world of networking.

I entered the corporate world at a time when women in business were even more rare than they are today. As such, I didn't have any female role models to look to when it came to developing a networking style, so I decided to try emulating the men in my company. Their strategy was based on quantity rather than quality: rather than build strong relationships with a few valuable contacts, they would instead endeavor to hand out as many business cards as humanly possible. It was a bizarre feature of my company's culture that your effectiveness as a networker was largely defined by how often you had to order a new box of cards. If you weren't constantly restocking your supply, it meant that you weren't making enough contacts.

Needless to say, I found this strategy immensely unsatisfying. I was giving out cards like candy on Halloween, but I wasn't making any serious connections. And it felt like I was getting too caught up in an overly masculine culture that emphasized competition and points on the scoreboard over meaningful, productive relationships. I decided to do things my own way.

For starters, that meant getting personal. I'd begin by revealing something about myself as a signal that this would not be a conventional business connection. So often we simply present ourselves as a title and a job description, as if this is all that matters; the other person responds by doing the same, and you immediately size each other up based on your respective preconceptions of that vocation. Simply introduce yourself as an accountant, for instance, and the other person will instinctively characterize you as orderly and business-like; this kind of reflexive stereotyping is a terrible starting point for a lasting relationship. By contrast, revealing some personal detail about yourself will not only make you stand out in the other's mind, but will also signal that you're interested in more than just a simple exchange of information. Taking the next step and inquiring about their hobbies and interests will likewise signal the initiation of a deeper relationship.

Having formed the relationship, the question becomes how the two parties will benefit from this partnership. The purely masculine approach is once again deficient in this regard, as their impulse is typically to extract as much value as possible. Like the traditional bachelors in the personal ads, these corporate warriors view their contacts as commodities to be judged primarily by the benefits they bring back. While the ultimate goal of this relationship is indeed to advance professionally, viewing these benefits as the be-all and end-all is a recipe for failure. In this regard, language is once again a critical sign-post: if all of your sentences are starting with "I need..." there's a chance you're asking more than you're giving in return. It may seem subtle, but rest assured that the other party will take notice of your needy ways and be more wary to pick up the phone the next time your numbers shows up on the caller ID.

The opposite also holds true. Remember those bashful suitors who were reluctant to even admit they wanted a pretty girl? They were displaying too much feminine energy. Women in particular are often guilty of this: our feminine impulse is to take care of others first, often at our own expense. This impulse is good to a certain extent - start off by doing something for your contact, and they'll likely feel inclined or even obligated to return the favor. It's a bit like making deposits into a bank account.

The problem arises when you never take a withdrawal from that account. Monitor your conversations: are they always making requests while you nod along and agree to do them favors? Are you always telling them what you can do, without ever pausing to ask what they can do for you in return? As with all aspects of your life, it's all about striking a balance between competing forces, and it's important that the relationship is as much about "I" and it is about "you."

If you share my inclination to establish deep personal relationships, you'll probably find it difficult to describe those relationships in the cold language of accounting and quid pro quo (and I would never recommend that you speak in such terms to your contact!). But unless you carefully monitor the exchange of value - and the language that describes it - you may quickly find that your carefully-cultivated relationship is dangerously out of balance.

Picture this! You are at a function and you find a person gracefully moving across the room who then ask you the question; 'What do you do?' You take a deep breath, pause for a second, then either yourself or your new associate that you happen to meet about 10 seconds ago launches into a sales pitch. Then out of the corner of your eye someone hands you a business card that you didn't ask for. You say, 'Thank you' and then you find yourself exchanging business cards without first building that initial relationship.

It's great to have people know who you are and what you do for a living. Now take a step back and think to yourself, 'is this the most profitable way to do business?' Most certainly it is the exact opposite. So what is the most successful way?

Connect with People

Building successful relationships is a connection between individuals which does not require each to sell their business or products. This also extends to handing out business cards as seen in the above example.

If you want to be successful at networking and building relationships which will be highly profitable for your business then you will need to consider it like a loyal friendship. The following strategy will provide some guidance to developing a highly profitable network and avoid the mistakes that many people make.

The Game Plan

Always plan prior to a function. Planning provides direction and a goal. So remember to always plan and set yourself some goals or it could possibly be a waste of time and energy.

When meeting someone always observe body language. To be a Highly successful networker you will:

Act as a host and not a guest

Always be interested in people

Give eye contact

Actively listen

Always smile and

Remember names

The rule of thumb when meeting a person for the first time is to talk about a mutual topic with the focus on introducing yourself first. Give at least 5 to 10 minutes before talking business and asking for their contact details.

The most important action

Lastly following the event the most important task is to follow up. Follow up should occur preferably within 24 hours of the event passing. It is better to personally call them by phone and re-introduce yourself. I know the common mistake is sending an email. Trust me based on experience a phone call is much warmer and will build that solid rapport.

Have a conversation for a few minutes, if you have done your homework properly and actively listen they may have taken you into their world and disclosed various items of interest. This can be hobbies, personal experience, or family. Use their personal interest as an advantage to kick start the conversation i.e. Hey did you get a chance to go to the gym last night? This enforces that you have a keen interest in knowing them and people love other people who speak their language. During the conversation ask to meet over coffee or go for lunch.

I remember one Mother's Day, my brother and I asked my mom, "why isn't there a Kids Day?" She told us, "Every day is kids day." I think of that story whenever I hear someone wondering why there are still business clubs and networking groups for women. While there is no doubt incredible progress for women in business, there are some ways in which "every day is business men's day."

Here's why I think business to business networking groups for women are a great idea for every female business owner, sales person or any woman who wants to develop personally and professionally. First, I don't agree with women only groups. Women at work complained too long, for too many years about men-only groups for us to turn around and do the same thing. But there are many advantages and reasons for having a group that is targeted and designed by and for women.

Women's business groups give women better opportunities to take leadership positions. In general business clubs, there may be long-term or more experienced men and older business people who have the confidence and experience to snap up leadership positions. In a women's group, it is easier for young women and those who are new to business to be encouraged to take these opportunities.

These groups also give women the opportunity to learn about and discuss topics that are unique to them. You would never see a Rotary Club inviting a woman doctor to talk about menopause or reproductive health issues. Women in business are more likely to want to hear about health issues, quality of life discussions and other topics that aren't specifically about business. They understand that these issues are vital to being able to focus on business they way they need to.

Finally, and I think most importantly, is that women's business organizations give women a special opportunity to bond, network and build powerful relationships with other women. Women need to be encouraged to help each other. Right now, it is a shameful trend in popular culture to show women as being enemies. The so-called "friends" in the Real Housewives series are held up as examples of how women handle their relationships. It's disgraceful. Every city needs a women's group to serve as an example of professional, mature women in business who are leaders in their community and worthy trusted friends of each other.

As a business woman who has benefited tremendously from 10 years of membership in a women's networking group, I encourage you to look for one in your community, join it, get your female co-workers to join, and bring your daughters. Spread the positive message and influence of the value of spending time with positive and supportive women in business.

I've had a personal theory for years that I have only so much "willpower" to use each day. If I used it all up on keeping my email inbox clean, then I wouldn't have any left to eat extra vegetables. Turns out that new psychological studies are suggesting that willpower is a limited resource. If you've been beating yourself up about not having the self-discipline to start or stay consistent with your networking, don't feel bad. You are off the hook. Not from trying to build your business and gain exposure. But from trying to use sheer willpower to network. This means that you have to use other ways to accomplish what you want.

Automate
You should have your 2011 appointment calendar by now and of course your planner software will go out as far as you want. Instead of trying to fit networking in each week or month, block it out now. You can find a regular event like a chamber mixer to schedule in or permanently "reserve" a corner table at the coffee shop for an hour once a week. All you have to do is invite someone to meet you there. Join an organization with regular meetings and they'll remind you to attend. Plus you won't want to waste your investment.

Environment
It must be nearly impossible to quit smoking if the whole office or household smokes. The environment discourages your attempts. If you're in a work environment where no one has the networking habit, you'll need to find a peer group that does have the habit. Their momentum will carry you along. By attending business events or joining a business club, you'll be there with people who will encourage you to form the positive networking habit.

Small Steps
Don't try plunging in to a complete networking immersion program with five events a week, two new business referral groups and a full luncheon calendar. Find just one thing that you can do regularly, whether it's attending an event, making contact with your network or providing value to others. Once you're in a good "rut" with that, add something new. Besides attending events, the next most valuable activity is developing a system and a habit for follow up.

Using willpower and brute force to get yourself to network is direct, unsubtle and usually doomed to failure. Try the seemingly smaller, but more powerful because they can be done. They work with our own personal tendencies and don't depend on the scientifically proven to be finite pool of willpower.

Facebook is, if you're not already aware, a huge network used for socializing and communicating by people all over the world today. In fact, this is not just an ordinary social network Website, it is the King of social network sites today and leaves all competition behind by marginal differences. If by a slim chance you yourself have never used Facebook, I can be almost positive that you at least know some friend or family member that is addicted to this social Website craze.

The fact about it is, they are not alone. The overbearing amount of users that over-clock the time they spend on Facebook everyday is rapidly growing, this is something that advertisers and marketers are well aware of. So, the next decision to make is, should you join the club and begin killing away time with the rest of your friends? Or should you think like the big dogs and begin to develop an income from this traffic? If you like making money then you'll most likely be interested in ways to monetize Facebook traffic into cold hard cash.

If you look past the attractive design and appealing interactive games and applications that Facebook has to offer, you'll begin to realize that the developers of these things are not doing to solely entertain their users but to generate an income and make a living! The entrepreneurs and business people that are already informed about Facebook's money-making secrets are, on average, gaining over 20-30 targeted leads everyday. While your uncle Joe is using the Website to reconnect with long-lost high school buddies, the advertisers are using it to promote their business services and products.

While this should be thought of from a business point-of-view, there is no reason why businesses and independent marketers can't consider using Facebook as a marketing tool fun and leisurely, after all, it beats the heck out of working a 9-5 day job in a cramped up cubicle. If you're seeking the answers to making money from this social network Website I will offer you some free advice.. just that, free advice!

Start adding friends, everyone has to start somewhere. It can take sometime, but after getting a base audience you'll see things begin to multiply similar to a snowball effect. Next it's time to progress forward, start up a fanpage or a group that your friends might be interested in, the content of this is important since it will be the vessel you bring the pitch to your audience with. Incentive offers are a great way to grab the reader's attention and keep it there, once you've achieved that they'll be waiting for you to unleash advertisement to whatever product or service you please. The obvious following is converting your leads into sales, which in laymen terms means, get paid!

This is just a tidbit of the information that there is to be offered about the successful secrets and strategies to making a fortune off Facebook marketing, to learn more about it find out about The King of Facebook Advertising.

Referrals are the key to growing your business. But rather than take a wait-and-see approach, hoping to get some referrals, a proactive approach is to strategically develop Referral Partners -- people who you have a relationship with and who proactively introduce and refer you to your target prospects. The prospects they send you are the easiest-to-convert leads you'll ever get.

So why not simply turn the usual client prospecting approach around. Instead of trying to recruit customers, you'll be much better off if you focus on finding Referral Partners instead.

But where do you look for them?

There are a variety of ways to find them, but you don't want just 'anybody'. To be successful in receiving quality referrals one of the most important criteria is that your Referral Partners must have "Opportunity." That is, the opportunity to interact with your potential target customers on a regular basis.

You see, if they don't get enough exposure to your target prospects, they won't be able find many referrals or be able to recommend you very often. So take that thought to its logical conclusion, and you'll realize that you need to start with your target customers...

So here is a 4-step process for finding referral partners:

1. Get to know your target customers
Before you can find successful referral partners, you need to get to know your target customers. Find out as much as you can about them. What do they need and want. What other products and services do they buy? What events do they attend? Where do they network? What charities do they support? And so on.

This step actually serves you in two ways. Not only will it help you connect with potential referral partners but it will also help you serve your customers better because you have a better understanding and appreciation for them.

2. Explore who has regular contact with your target customers
This step brings you closer to potential referral partner candidates. Figure out what other products and services that your ideal target customers buy. From whom do they buy their supplies, and who do they contract for the services they need?

For example, If you want to market to restaurants you could find out who else provides them with services or products. Find out who cleans their linens, and who supplies their coffee. Those providers are doing the same for numerous other restaurants in town. This puts them in a perfect position to introduce you to their other restaurant owners.

3. Go where they go
Once you've made a list of potentials industries that your prospective Referral Partners are in the next step is to meet them. In order to find and connect with Referral Partner prospects use a networking strategy. Don't just rely on the Chamber events but take time to assess where they go - what associations do they belong to, conferences they attend etc.?

4. Ask your current clients
Not sure where to start? A great way to find out is to simply ask your own ideal clients who else they buy from and tap into their network of suppliers and service providers. So keeping to the restaurant example above, if you want to find out who does their linen service or their books, just ask your current restaurant clients. And then ask for an introduction them.

Once you have some prospective Referral partners in mind get on the phone and suggest a coffee date to talk about how you can help each other. When you meet, remember to qualify them on 'opportunity' - do they really have enough contact with the type of prospect you want to meet? And finally, just like any relationship, remember they take time to develop.

If you are a professional who wants to increase your business clientele but you find the usual practice of networking difficult, there are three ways you can approach this task that will make things easier for you.

Some find that they just do not have the time for social interaction while others just want to spend more time with their families rather than joining the usual organizations where they can meet potential clients. Some professionals are experts in their fields but are somewhat lacking in their social skills hence miss opportunities for referrals from others.

If any of these situations applies to you, here are three ways you can overcome your resistance and move forward with a plan that will help you receive an abundance of referrals from other professionals and clients.

One: Focus on a niche within your field

Find a service that connects you with other professionals in your service field. For instance, if you are a counselor or a life insurance agent, you may consider finding a service that will make connections easy and effortless with other professionals serving people who are going through divorce through a referral system that is automatic. Over 2.4 million people are divorcing each year and these professionals can collaborate and grow their businesses by being in a system that creates professional referrals easily. Imagine networking automatically with:

Accountants
Bankruptcy Attorneys
Divorce Attorneys
Estate Planning Professionals
Health Insurance Agents
Life Insurance Agents
Marriage Counselors
Mediators
Mortgage Professionals
Real Estate Agents

Two: Give that extra mile

Make sure that your clients really know that you are working in their best interest. Give them a little extra attention, speaking to them with compassion always and making them feel special. There are those who treat their clients as numbers or have little interest in their clients' life experiences. This can be a big mistake. If you change your approach to them and see them as more than just clients, but as friends too, they will be much more inclined to tell their friends about you and send more clients your way.

Three: Listen, listen, listen

How many times, in dealing with your clients, do you wait impatiently while they are talking to you until you can jump in and speak what it is you want them to know? Are you looking at the clock rather than letting them give you information that you might miss if you are too impatient? People are very aware when they are really being listened to and value the good listener so much that they judge performance on this very skill sometimes more than just the service being rendered. Even if you know you are the best counselor, tax advisor or real estate agent, your skills will be outweighed by your lack of attention. If a client feels cared for, they will come back and send others to you.

Do you sometimes feel like you're on a networking frenzy - bopping from one event to another hoping to make that "right" connection and make a sale? Well, successful networking is more than attending a dozen events every month. Instead just pick a few that you can commit to and then invest your time to leverage it fully. The question, of course, is how to pick the right networking groups and events.

Here's the key to picking the kinds of events that will help you with your goals:

Think QUALITY over QUANTITY

Remember that networking is about building relationships. You need to be visible and make connections to get the best result from your time. If you join a networking group, you need to be able to attend their meetings consistently enough to build quality relationships. Attending just once or twice a year won't work!

And that means that you have to be very selective in the networking groups you get involved with. You want to be able to be a regular a few select groups, not someone who's hardly even remembered in a lot of different groups.

So how do you go about selecting the right networking group to join or the right event to attend?

Here are some key criteria to consider:

A) The Mix of Attendees

The most important question you should ask yourself is whether the people who attend the meetings are a good fit for you. Specifically, ask yourself the following questions:

• Are they people you connect with

• Do they share or service your target market

• Can you comfortably pass referrals to them

• Do you have anything in common with enough of the other members

• Does the group fit your style - professional, casual, educational, fun etc.

B) Convenience

The second most important criterion is whether the meeting times and locations are convenient -- because if they aren't, you're unlikely to attend regularly enough to reap the benefits. Consider these questions:

• Is the location easy to get to

• Is the day or time one that allows you to attend consistently

If you come up with answers you like, consider joining. If it seems that a group is a poor fit, don't waste your time. You'll be better off spending it networking with a group of people who you can truly connect with.

And to make the most of your meetings, make a personal commitment to follow up with everyone you have a conversation with and then pick one person to have a coffee with. It's a great way to expand your network and grow referrals. You'll gain increased visibility, have stronger connections, leverage your time AND get more business.

Do you know how many people you need to network with before you make a sale? If you've studied some of the best sales trainers, they encourage you to track your sales conversions from your sales prospecting activities such as cold calls. These metrics will tell you where to focus your efforts.

Networking can also be a prospecting activity. There are two ways to figure out a sales conversion rate from networking. One is based on an approach of using networking purely as a selling tool. The other one is based on the process of building long-lasting, mutually beneficial relationships.

Have you been approached by someone at a networking event who introduces themselves with their business card in their hand? Then they immediately give you their business pitch along with an invitation to give them a call, try their product or refer a friend? This is the "selling" approach. It's not really networking, but is much more like direct marketing in person. Instead of the brochure or sales letter appearing in the mail, it is handed to you.

In fact, it's even more like cold-calling. Instead of doing it by phone, it's being done in person. All the awkwardness of a cold-call with the addition of not being able to hang up the phone and move on.

If this is the networking approach you are going to use, start with your cold-calling sales conversion rate. For example, some professional sales people can make 100 cold calls and get 20 or 30 appointments if they are very, very targeted in their calling. If you're networking at general events, figure that your audience is much less targeted and you will need to pitch 100 people in person to get maybe 5 or 10 appointments. If you're a great closer, you might have 2 or 3 sales. Therefore, your sales conversion rate is 2%.

How many people can you talk to at one event? If you attend a two-hour mixer and you are very good at working a room, you might be able to talk to 30 or 40 people. You'll need to find at least three such events every month, just to make one or two sales. Not a great use of your time.

Instead, concentrate of building strong relationships with a few key people. Show them your value and prove that they can trust you to work in the best interests of their friends, family and business partners. Instead of 100 cold-calls, you'll have referrals that will convert at rates you've never before dreamed of.

If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times. If you think networking is about meeting as many people as you can, telling them about yourself and handing out hundreds of business cards, you are wrong!

So what is networking? Forget the traditional definition so I'm not even going to mention it. In today's world networking has more to do with connecting and genuinely caring about people than adding them to your address book until they can do something for you.

The real question then, is how do you connect with people? Here are my 7 no-fail steps to help you.

Develop a genuine interest in people. Some of the most interesting and fascinating people are the people who might not usually catch your networking eye. That guy in the polo shirt and jeans when everyone else is wearing a blazer and slacks, come on! Surely anyone who does not know how to dress properly is not worth knowing. Pssst! That guy might be so sure of himself that he won't be bothered by convention, and he might just be the one you need to collaborate with on your next big project.

Really connect with people. I always smile when I hear or even find it necessary to use the popular term B2B (Business to Business). Don't look now but business is done P2P (Person to Person). Have you ever seen two businesses make a deal? No but you've seen their owners or some PERSON else making those deals.

Why not try getting past the titles and the CV and really find out who a person is at a deeper level? You might discover that their purpose resonates with yours and that you can work together to create or further something that is beneficial to both of you and others. Before you know it, you're making real deals and actual money and that's so much more rewarding.

Check your image. You can smell them from way across the room (I can anyway!) Those people at an event whose body language says "I really don't belong here. If I had the guts to say "no" to my very ill mother, I'd be on the golf course with my crowd. BUT since I'm here, I might as well give out a few business cards." Building relationships and connecting requires warmth, openness, empathy, friendliness and being easy to approach. Be genuinely interested in the people you meet and listen to their stories. Being stiff, aloof and only concerned about handing out your business card will not cut it in connecting. Remember, you're building relationships for the longterm.

Develop the necessary skills. No, I am not suggesting that all you have to do to connect with people is to go where they are. Connecting effectively requires you to develop some key people skills and these three top the list. Listening allows people to tell you their stories and you to show that you're genuinely interested in them. Small talk or the ability to talk to anyone about anything is critical to the process. Self-confidence is invaluable for enabling you to approach people and start conversations. After all, connecting is about building relationships.

Learn to give. If it doesn't come naturally, you should really learn how to. I don't mean the big $500 corporate gift. I mean the idea to help a person improve something, the free reports on your website or the information-packed one-hour strategy session. Giving excites me big time. First of all it's just the thing to do. Secondly, what you give truly comes back to you ten-fold. Don't worry about the "how", it just does. Giving also builds trust and people like to do business with people they trust. One of my colleagues has connected me to so many people and some of those connections have been truly profitable. What a gift!

Learn professional etiquette. Please! Many of your connections will come through attending events, so learn how to conduct yourself on these occasions. People remember people who are gracious, polished and treat them with dignity. Furthermore, if you know how to handle yourself in social situations, you are perceived as being equally competent in business circumstances. (Don't ask me why!)

Do follow-up. But do so with some thought, remember you're connecting and building relationships. What I do is to send the person some snippet of information, a card or one of my many free resources - something beyond a mere e-mail. I mention our meeting and highlight what I would have found particularly interesting or engaging about the encounter. You guessed it, as many as 8 times out of 10, the other party responds and the foundation is laid.

Connecting requires you to be open to business 24/7. I've made connections in the checkout line in the supermarket, on flights to foreign destinations, at networking events and via the internet.

I recently wrote an article entitled, "Do you have a Job Search Strategy?" which touched briefly on the hidden job market. Many readers already know that networking is the best tool for uncovering jobs yet to be advertised or released to the public.

What is the hidden job market?

Hiring managers, decision makers and executives typically are tuned into potential positions being discussed but pending approval or specific roles that need to be filled when the right person can be identified. Many executives have the authority to create a position which satisfies a critical need within their group or their company. Additionally, a VP of Marketing may have a good friend at XYX Company who has discussed a new Senior Information Technology role that will soon be approved. Don't limit your network to decision makers in your field alone.

How do you tap these hidden opportunities?

Ask all your network contacts the following question. Do you know decision makers who know people willing to talk briefly about your job search? The question opens a broad field of potential contacts and is the first step to uncovering the hidden job market.

By using your existing contact list, your target companies, network contacts, schedule meetings and phone conversations to begin your search. You should have at least three major goals for each conversation:

1) Introduce yourself, highlighting your skills and experience and possible target positions and companies,
2) Seek out information about your contacts position within the company, responsibilities, challenges, hobbies etc. Always offer to provide assistance by way of network contacts, information, referrals etc. Demonstrate that you have a genuine interest in learning more about them.
3) Ask for referrals and additional network contacts that are willing to assist with your job search. Don't put them on the spot for contacts during your meeting, however, let them know you will follow up with them in a few days. Always make sure you write a thank you note or e-mail, thanking them for their time and contacts.

If you start with a list of 20 contacts and each one only provides one new referral, you have doubled my network. Asking all of your contacts for referrals will help you develop a viable network very quickly. I used this approach and asked an old friend for decision makers who might be able to help me. Two days later I received a list of 12 professional referrals. I scheduled meetings with each of them using my friend name as a referral. I don't recall exactly how many additional new contacts the meetings yielded, but believe it was in the neighborhood of 20 more contacts.

So what's the point of talking and meeting with all these people, most of which I am meeting for the first time?

Networking using this approach provides the opportunity to publicize your personal brand; present who you are, your skills and experience, successes and your added value. It builds a network of contacts through referrals and professionals who have shown an interest in assisting you with your job search. Lastly, you will be pleasantly surprised by the number of opportunities you will uncover in the hidden job market.

As I mention in my previous blog entry, log all your contacts and who referred you, note dates you met or talked as well as follow up requirements.